Why saving money was a terrible idea

It has been a while since I last posted an article. Looking after Brandon has become increasingly hard over the last several months. Starting in September, Brandon began attending preschool full-time, providing me with the opportunity to resume my writing.

My 3-year Hyundai lease ended last month. To avoid wear and tear charges, I wanted to make sure the car was in pristine condition. However, I encountered a hurdle — a 7-inch deep scratch on the rear quarter panel. Taking the car to an auto body shop was easily going to cost over $1,000. My brother-in-law who knows way more about cars than I do strongly recommended against attempting a DIY fix.

Out of curiosity, I searched on YouTube for ways to fix the scratch. It seemed that the repair process wasn’t as complicated as I had initially thought. Many comments pointed out that numerous viewers had achieved success following the same procedures.

I told myself

• It’s going to be perhaps 3–4 hour job. I am handy and good with DIYs in general.
• I am going to enjoy saving $1,000.
• I get to learn how to fix an auto scratch and I can utilize this knowledge for future scratches on my car
• It’s about listening to my own voice and trusting my own judgement, rather than relying on the opinions of others.

Unfortunately, the repair ended up taking a total of two full days of work. The worst part was the car didn’t look much better after putting in all the hours and using up the supplies.

Sigh.

Scratch repair in progress — the original scratch is not visible here because I sanded and applied primer over the surface at the time this photo was taken. I spent at least 10 hours on this paint job.

This is the final result — the scratch is not visible but the rear quarter panel below the tail light has no gloss when compared to the door. The clear coat did not get applied correctly.

This pattern of events is not new to me. Many of my DIY attempts unfold this way. I can’t expect everything go perfectly on my first try, right?

But for some reasons, this time felt different. Unlike other incidents where I appreciated the lessons I learned and moved on, I realized I was not entirely honest with myself this time.

After engaging in a self-dialogue, I discovered that

• My decision was primarily driven by my scarcity mindset towards money.
• I was lying to myself. I was not actually that interested in learning how to use spray paint and fix the car scratch. Deep inside, I had a feeling the fix was going to take much longer than the estimated 3–4 hours and the quality of my work wouldn’t come close to that of a body shop.
• I had enough money to pay for the repair. I was simply obsessed with saving.
• I failed to consider the value of my time and the opportunity cost.

I believed I had moved beyond this scarcity mindset over the last year, but the incident above reminded me perhaps I haven’t made as much progress as I thought. My question then was how do I avoid repeating the same mistake in the future?

I think there are two approaches to answering the question.

1. Cultivate a habit of engaging in honest self-dialogue regularly, especially through ongoing meditation. By meditating consistently, I can evaluate my decisions from a more objective perspective and catch myself when I am about to employ the saving-above-all-else approach.
2. Delve deeper and understand the origin of this thought pattern. Get to the root of this behavior and fix it from there so it does not become a recurring behavior. I recently discovered Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. I have yet to learn more about it but I believe it is a powerful therapy method that helps you discover potential emotional traumas associated with any recurring thoughts and behaviors. I have some ideas where my obsession with saving may have originated. I will make another post once I go through the IFS framework and make new realizations.

After my reflection above, one thing was clear: I was not valuing my limited free time enough. I recognized that I had been deceiving myself about not outsourcing lawn mowing. While it is a good exercise and I enjoy working outdoor, it was not the best use of my precious free time. I immediately called a landscaping company to hire help.

Trying to fix the scratch and seeing it not turn out well was a painful experience but it served as a powerful wake-up call for me. It urged me to reassess how I prioritize my time and view money as a resource to propel my dreams forward. In fact, following this incident and with Brandon starting his school, I made a significant progress in building my woodworking shop. I am excited to share more details about this progress in the next post!