I drove my nanny home for one last time last night. No one cried as we left the house and our conversation in the car was entertaining as usual. We both mentioned it felt like a regular trip we took every two weeks for the past 1 year. Only after I helped unload the luggage and gave her a hug, I started crying. Tears were coming down and I could not explain why.
After coming home, I and my wife chatted about this. We realized I lost my only speaking buddy in my life. I live in a suburb, away from all my friends and family. There is no one I can speak Korean to unless I get on the phone. My nanny, being Chinese, happened to speak Korean so I often spoke to her during the day about everyday small stuff.
In this new town we moved to, I don’t have any friends — Korean or English speaking. Add to that the fact that I don’t have a job, I have pretty much no one to socialize with. So nanny filled up that void.
Aside from being my speaking, socializing buddy, my nanny was always there to see me doing small chores that can easily go unnoticed and she always praised me for being on top of things. Looking back, she was the source of all the recognition I needed for my hard, behind-the-scene work and I benefited a lot from that in the absence of a job and coworkers/manager to provide any recognition.
Moreover, it was her capacity to handle Brandon completely on her own that allowed me to focus entirely on my experiments to find what I want to do. Sure I paid her but she went above and beyond to look after Brandon like she is his grandmother and the comfort of knowing Brandon is in good hands gave me the mental space to keep pursuing different ideas. I think woodworking is the right direction for me and I am glad she was around until I finished the framing work and built enough momentum towards the right direction.
My nanny had the ability to bring good fortune to those around her. She attracted good people for her own endeavors too. She kept mentioning how lucky she was to work for my family. I think I benefited from her just as much, if not more. I’d like to think her life intersecting with mine at this point in time was the universe trying to help me out. The nanny, in a way, set me off on a good path before she left. I just need to take it from here and turn my dream into reality.
One day, I could send her a nice piece of wood product as a gift. I’d like to make her proud.
